I thought really hard about what I want to write today. This is my first personal blog. I was really hoping for something grand and pretty. Well, I don’t have any of that. Instead all I have is just me and Blake playing games at home. We are here on day 11 of self quarantine. I haven’t quite figured out the perfect rhythm for us. Some days are more challenging than others. Just last week I had a anxiety attack. It was pretty predictable why it happened with all that’s going on. But later that day, I saw an Instagram post from my favorite photographer Katelyn James. I sobbed with her story how she lost her baby. It had nothing to do with what’s going on in my life but the message was so powerful and changed my perspective completely.
When Blake's school emailed us that they are extending spring break, my initial thoughts were, That's great we are safer this way. but quickly realize now I will have kids all day. All my regular routines are going to change, and add to my regular business related tasks, I will have to find time to home-school him! I’m not a teacher! Home-school is not for me! For a week, I was waiting and hoping things would change. Well, It didn’t. I thought I was handling it well until I had an anxiety attack and then I saw Katelyn’s video. She was talking to my soul! She made me realize I was running away from reality and feelings. Big or small, I was refusing to find joy in this situation. It led to my anxiety attack. What I’ve learned from this is that it doesn’t have to be that way.
The next day and everyday after that, I allowed myself to explore the option of homeschooling Blake. It allowed me to be open for that option. I decided to spend 30 minutes doing math problems with Blake. Don’t get me wrong - it annoyed the heck out me when he counted them wrong. But the option to see the good side in this story is available. We’ve never bonded like this before. Actually he loved to do counting with me. If he can’t go back to school, this may be a good thing for us. The story I believed for so long that home-school isn’t for me, maybe I was wrong about that. I will still send Blake to school when school is open, but I’m no longer scared of the thought of homeschooling him. Making a conscious decision to turn lemon to lemonade everyday is not easy, but it’s life changing. Your problem might be different than mine, but I think this is a question we all can ask ourselves. Are you going to choose Lemon or Lemonade today? Another way to make lemonade out of lemon. I bought a math board games for him to learn math. Win Win! ;)